Waiting for Superman…

My family watched “Waiting for Superman” for the first time tonight.  I realize it came out a year ago…  I was left distraught, angry, and in tears.  A couple of years ago, I did a research project on America’s failing schools.  I knew that large cities are plagued with big dropout rates, not just double digits, but higher than 50% dropout rate – some metropolitan areas with over 70% dropout rates.  What I didn’t realize (even though I see in it my own district) was that suburban areas have just as many problems, but is masked by the high scores of high achieving students.  Since moving into Wake County I have seen this firsthand.  Wake County’s solution is to bus at-risk kids to high performing schools.  Sounds really great in theory.  The district boasts of results because they have more schools yielding better results.  In reality all they have done is spread out the at-risk children to dilute the sub-par grades.  It makes the district look good and it is awarded additional federal and local government money, but the real problem is never addressed.  In fact, I contend that the busing system that Wake County has adopted really is a disservice to the at-risk community.  First of all, these students spend a ridiculous amount of time in transit. (See my previous post about bus safety in Wake County – on average more than one bus accident per school day!)  Some children waiting at a bus stop at 6 am with an average commute of 45 minutes each way.  Sleep deprived children do not perform well in school.  In fact a Cornell Professor wrote about the importance of sleep and how children, especially teenagers, would benefit from a later school start time.  (I’ll look it up and write about it in detail later).  Not only that, you put at-risk students in an environment in which they can never compete.  My children will go to a high performing high school, and I worry that they won’t be able to compete and stand out against all the other AP students in order to get into a good college.  How can an at-risk child even keep their heads above water??  In addition, the extra-curricular activities happen before or after school.   When a child lives 45 minutes from the school, how are they supposed to participate?  We put an additional burden on the parents of the at-risk children who really would want to make a difference for their children.  I’m not saying, I know the answer – I don’t think anyone does.  But heaping up additional burdens on the very children we are trying to help is not the answer. 

I could write a novel about this, but for now…  it will have to wait for another post.    

Waiting for Superman

Super-Obese Kids

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/should-parents-lose-custody-of-super-obese-kids-2510149/

My last post focused on a restaurant wanting to restrict young families from dining in their establishment.  This post once again focuses on children.  This is a heart breaking predicament. When a child is severely obese, who is to blame?  Studies show that children typically adapt eating habits from their parents, so in general terms, obese parents produce obese children.  Does this give the government the right to take children away from a parent when the parent is only reproducing what was learned from his/her parents?  At the end of the day, each individual must take responsibility for their own actions.  But at what age does that occur?  The article sites children aged 12, 14, and 16.  Granted, how does the child know normal food portions if he has never been taught, but there comes a time that the child must decide for themselves what is acceptable.  I have a child that has food allergies.  Since they are not severe food allergies, the schools did not want to go through the necessary paperwork to have alternate foods provided for him.  Since learning of the allergies in 4th grade, he has had to self-regulate his diet while at school.  Instead of getting milk, he asks for a glass of water.  I’m not there to make sure he doesn't drink milk, nor will the school take any ownership to provide soy or rice milk for him as an alternative.  He has had to make wise choices about what foods he intakes.     Soooo, back to the question… who is to blame?  It’s a complicated question with no easy answers, but I do think it would help if the government would subsidize healthy foods instead of subsidizing foods that are known to cause weight gain.  This would make healthy foods more obtainable for the poor and middle class.  Additionally, instead of issuing welfare checks, change the system to vouchers that allow “approved” foods similar to WIC programs (Women, infants, and children) to promote healthy food choices.   http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/        

Restaurant Bans Kids

When I saw this article, I must confess I had mixed emotions.  Being the mother of four children, I can relate to the seemingly discriminatory ideals associated with such a policy.  On the other hand, I also was recently distracted by a screaming toddler at a neighboring table when reuniting with some old friends.  It wasn’t that the child screamed that was the problem, it was that the child was allowed to continue to scream that put a damper on the last 20 to 30 minutes of our dinner.  Luckily the family with the screaming child didn’t arrive until we were having dessert.   

The question is: What is a restaurant to do when such a situation arises?

When my children were under 6, no one had to tell me when my child was being disruptive.  It was disruptive to me, so the child received the “evil eye” the “mommy means business look.”  Typically that would solve the problem.  However, admittedly that didn’t always work, especially when they were younger.  In those cases, either my husband or I would take the child away from the dinner table and would be dealt with appropriately.  It takes conditioning for the “look” to work.   Webster’s defines conditioning as:  a simple form of learning involving the formation, strengthening, or weakening of an association between a stimulus and a response.  Simple, yes.  Easy, no.  I relate to the fatigue associated with parenting, it is an exhausting endeavor.  Early in our marriage, when we were just starting our family so dear friends said the best child raising book they ever read was “How to train your dog.”  Yes, you read that right.  The basic principles are the same.  Be consistent.  Giving in is rewarding bad behavior.  Stick with it, even when you’re tired.  All of which falls under “be consistent.” 

So what is a restaurant to do when parents fail to parent? There are no easy answers.  I think banning families is the wrong way to go. Maybe a statement similar to a movie theater about “screaming children will be asked to leave” may be enough of a deterrent.        

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/restaurant-bans-kids-under-6-discrimination-or-smart-move-2509487/